What is Sex Therapy?
Exploration of your desires, beliefs, and choices that relate to your sexuality. Couples come to me with difficulties tied to cultural differences, sexual incompatibility, and sexual trauma.
Once I conduct a full assessment, I have a large network of professionals for which I can provide referrals for pelvic floor physical therapy, psychiatry, and medical specialties.
Sex therapy is a safe and confidential space for individuals to explore sexual concerns and work towards a healthy and fulfilling sex life.
Sex Therapy Is Not
Sex therapy is not sex work. Sex therapists do not touch their clients, or provide any form of erotic pleasure (verbal and physical).
Sex therapy is not sexological body work. Sexological body workers help clients directly through instruction and touch. They also do not provide erotic massages and erotic entertainment. The purpose of sexological body work is to reconnect with yourself through the help of a professional. It can be especially helpful for individuals experiencing painful sex, sexual trauma survivors, early ejaculation, and those who need support learning pleasure points in their body. You can learn more about sexological body work here: https://sexologicalbodyworkers.org/whatis
Examples of Homework / Interventions Used
Family History, Family Dynamics, and Sibling Relationships
Sexual History Timeline / Relationship History Timeline
Journaling Prompts
Communication Skills
Social Circle Exercise
Cognitive Behavioral & Processing Therapy Worksheets
Gottman’s Speaker Listener Technique (Communication Technique)
Role-playing in Session
Conflict Resolution Tactics
Yes / No / Maybe Lists
Discussing kinks, fantasies, and preferences
And Much More…
Benefits
Sex therapy is for both individuals ad couples. I see people who are single and partnered.
Common topics/issues that come up in sex therapy include:
Defining what sex means to you
Understanding your relationship to sex and your partner’s relationship to sex
Masturbation and porn consumption habits
Sexual and relationship history
Communication barriers as it relates to sex and intimacy
Anxiety and hangups around sex
Sex therapy can help by:
Resolving and processing sexual trauma
Helping you better understand and communicate feelings with your partner
Reduce shame, anxiety, and guilt around sex and porn use
Improving your relationship to your sexual self
Understanding how past trauma may be playing a role in beliefs about yourself
Bridging communication in interpersonal relationships
Reframing hangups and anxieties around sex
Improve self-esteem and beliefs about self
Finding compatible partners and how to attract potential partners
Being your most authentic self and showing up as the best partner that you can be
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Not necessarily. I am a mental health therapist with a specialty in sex and relationships. I treat general issues as well including anxiety, depression, life transitions, and family issues. You can start therapy for the first time with me and we’ll cater our sessions to what you need. Sometimes, there is more work to be done prior to starting sex therapy. This depends on a case by case basis and I can give you my clinical recommendations as we work together.
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Absolutely, sex therapy is for both individuals and couples. You can learn a lot about your own sexuality, preferences, and work through past trauma to attract the best fit for you.
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This will depend on your case. Sometimes I would recommend couples therapy first and then determine in individual therapy for each partner is necessary. Other times, I will recommend couples to pause relationship therapy and do individual therapy first, before returning to couples therapy. If you are uncertain, you can start with couples therapy and see what your therapist recommends. This may take 1-2 months before coming to an answer.
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Couples therapy can be beneficial for any couple at any stage. I see couples who are on the verge of breaking up and couples who would just like to learn communication tools. If you are finding yourselves having the same type of conflict to no resolve, therapy can help get out of that loop and redirect the conversation to a more productive one.
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Yes, I’ve seen couples who have not had sex with each other yet, despite being together for many years. As long as both parties are willing to introspect, do the work, and be kind to one another, I believe we can look for solutions and figure out what works. This is not a guarantee, but I think it’s worth trying. We may also need to redefine what sex means to each of you and understand the root reasons.
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Therapy requires a safe container for the most personal, vulnerable and private facets of your life. I am able to co-create this with you in both in-person and via telehealth.